Why do violent acts occur? Is there anything we can do to stop them?
The question on everyone's mind these days has to do with the seemingly random eruptions of violence that suddently create waves of pain, grief, and fear in their wake. Why do such things occur? Can we stop them? Can we find the "answer" that will allow us to gain control over these unexpected tragic dramas?
Essentially, I believe the answer is simply, "No." There will always be such violent explosions because violence is part of our nature. That does not mean that we cannot master that part of our nature--that we cannot control the behavior that follows negative feelings. It does mean that until we find ways of becoming more conscious of our own process and that of those around us, it is likely that many violent feelings will not be contained, and will be expressed suddenly and disastrously.
Each time violence shatters the regular rhythms of our lives, we are surprised. That alone tells us that violence is not our usual fare. But for so many in our world, the surprise is no longer there because the pain is so frequent and the grief a daily event. From everything we witness, both near and far, there are some principles which we need to keep in mind.
Violence always leads to more violence. We can never get to peace through violence. Many of you have heard me repeat this time and time again: We can only get to love through love, we can only get to compassion compassionately. We can only get to forgiveness by forgiving ourselves and others. Non-violence does not mean becoming doormats for the perpetrators of violence. It is our responsibility to protect ourselves as best we can--but not and the expense of others.
We need to do what we can to create environments of peace within ourselves, in our own homes and communities. We need to meet the difficult feelings that rise within us and within each other with as much compassion as we can muster. We must begin with "Yes, I certainly can appreciate how you feel. Tell me more. I want to know." When we give up the need to be right, and release the desire to fix things for another, we can become listeners and witnesses whose gentle receptivity and compassionate non-defensive responses can help another feel heard, perhaps for the first time.
Violence, as our friend Ari Cowan teaches, rises from the experience of powerlessness. We empower others when we are present for them, when we are willing to hear and willing to share and willing to hang in and see where the journey goes. The goal is the deeper discover of the integrity of our beings and the integrity within all others, and the willingness to take clearer responsibility for the feelings we generate, that we might be more conscious in the actions that follow those feelings.
The answer? Perhaps it lies in the awareness that we are each capable, given certain circumstances, of the same violent behavior that we see around us. To work on our own violent tendencies, our own tendency toward righteous indignation, rather than projecting the problem outside ourselves. When we recognize the difficulty we have within ourselves, we can understand more easily how others get themselves into such terribly difficult places. But shooting oneself out of those difficult places is never the answer; one can only love oneself out of those place.
We human beings have been working on this since we rose to walk about on two legs. It is my fervent prayer that, together with so many others on the spiritual path, we will find the wisdom and the strength to add enough compassion to this world to make a significant difference.
It begins with each one of us. That's why I am so grateful to be with you in community.
Blessings,
Ted
Each time violence shatters the regular rhythms of our lives, we are surprised. That alone tells us that violence is not our usual fare. But for so many in our world, the surprise is no longer there because the pain is so frequent and the grief a daily event. From everything we witness, both near and far, there are some principles which we need to keep in mind.
Violence always leads to more violence. We can never get to peace through violence. Many of you have heard me repeat this time and time again: We can only get to love through love, we can only get to compassion compassionately. We can only get to forgiveness by forgiving ourselves and others. Non-violence does not mean becoming doormats for the perpetrators of violence. It is our responsibility to protect ourselves as best we can--but not and the expense of others.
We need to do what we can to create environments of peace within ourselves, in our own homes and communities. We need to meet the difficult feelings that rise within us and within each other with as much compassion as we can muster. We must begin with "Yes, I certainly can appreciate how you feel. Tell me more. I want to know." When we give up the need to be right, and release the desire to fix things for another, we can become listeners and witnesses whose gentle receptivity and compassionate non-defensive responses can help another feel heard, perhaps for the first time.
Violence, as our friend Ari Cowan teaches, rises from the experience of powerlessness. We empower others when we are present for them, when we are willing to hear and willing to share and willing to hang in and see where the journey goes. The goal is the deeper discover of the integrity of our beings and the integrity within all others, and the willingness to take clearer responsibility for the feelings we generate, that we might be more conscious in the actions that follow those feelings.
The answer? Perhaps it lies in the awareness that we are each capable, given certain circumstances, of the same violent behavior that we see around us. To work on our own violent tendencies, our own tendency toward righteous indignation, rather than projecting the problem outside ourselves. When we recognize the difficulty we have within ourselves, we can understand more easily how others get themselves into such terribly difficult places. But shooting oneself out of those difficult places is never the answer; one can only love oneself out of those place.
We human beings have been working on this since we rose to walk about on two legs. It is my fervent prayer that, together with so many others on the spiritual path, we will find the wisdom and the strength to add enough compassion to this world to make a significant difference.
It begins with each one of us. That's why I am so grateful to be with you in community.
Blessings,
Ted
Rabbi Ted Falcon, Ph.D.
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Reader Comments (1)
I had always taken the following as self-evident. But in the past few years when I actually examined these notions I could find no convincing evidence that judiciious violence necessarily engendered more and that the ordinary consequence of powerlessness was violence. How did you come to believe the following?
"Violence always leads to more violence. We can never get to peace through violence."
"Violence ... rises from the experience of powerlessness."