Q&A with Rabbi Ted
To ask Rabbi Ted a question, use "Q&A" in the subject line and e-mail: rabbitedonline@gmail.com. Rabbi Ted will choose one or two questions periodically. Check back to see new questions and answers, and to find archives to past questions and answers.
Why do violent acts occur? Is there anything we can do to stop them?
Each time violence shatters the regular rhythms of our lives, we are surprised. That alone tells us that violence is not our usual fare. But for so many in our world, the surprise is no longer there because the pain is so frequent and the grief a daily event. From everything we witness, both near and far, there are some principles which we need to keep in mind.
Violence always leads to more violence. We can never get to peace through violence. Many of you have heard me repeat this time and time again: We can only get to love through love, we can only get to compassion compassionately. We can only get to forgiveness by forgiving ourselves and others. Non-violence does not mean becoming doormats for the perpetrators of violence. It is our responsibility to protect ourselves as best we can--but not and the expense of others.
We need to do what we can to create environments of peace within ourselves, in our own homes and communities. We need to meet the difficult feelings that rise within us and within each other with as much compassion as we can muster. We must begin with "Yes, I certainly can appreciate how you feel. Tell me more. I want to know." When we give up the need to be right, and release the desire to fix things for another, we can become listeners and witnesses whose gentle receptivity and compassionate non-defensive responses can help another feel heard, perhaps for the first time.
Violence, as our friend Ari Cowan teaches, rises from the experience of powerlessness. We empower others when we are present for them, when we are willing to hear and willing to share and willing to hang in and see where the journey goes. The goal is the deeper discover of the integrity of our beings and the integrity within all others, and the willingness to take clearer responsibility for the feelings we generate, that we might be more conscious in the actions that follow those feelings.
The answer? Perhaps it lies in the awareness that we are each capable, given certain circumstances, of the same violent behavior that we see around us. To work on our own violent tendencies, our own tendency toward righteous indignation, rather than projecting the problem outside ourselves. When we recognize the difficulty we have within ourselves, we can understand more easily how others get themselves into such terribly difficult places. But shooting oneself out of those difficult places is never the answer; one can only love oneself out of those place.
We human beings have been working on this since we rose to walk about on two legs. It is my fervent prayer that, together with so many others on the spiritual path, we will find the wisdom and the strength to add enough compassion to this world to make a significant difference.
It begins with each one of us. That's why I am so grateful to be with you in community.
Blessings,
Ted
Is There Life After Death?
Creation always involves separation. So, when the One blossoms into the world of multiple forms the awareness of that One becomes obscured. As we identify only with our individual biological selves, our body egos, we experience ourselves cut off from the Whole, and a kind of existential aloneness motivates us to seek power and control in our striving for a security we no longer experience. Although we are fond of asking the question, "Is there life after death?" the more appropriate question, given our descent into separateness, is "Is there life after birth?"
One might imagine that Soul is One, and as that One differentiates, Soul differentiates, as well. We are still connected, we are still and always part of the One, but we are less conscious of that connection. So we seek, through spiritual work, the opening of the gates which had appeared closed. At each level of transcendence, as we meet a more inclusive sense of Self, we become more aware of the Self from which we had never really been separate.
Whether we are "alive" or "dead" to our individual identities, we are always and all ways alive in our Soul identity. That aliveness only appears to diminish in our earthly existence, but shines brightly behind the barriers of ego. Remember that "life" and "death" are not opposites: "birth" and "death" are opposites. Life has no opposite (the closest "opposite" would be lack of awareness, but that does not actually diminish the Life that Is), but flows through many cycles of birth and death. Each death is a doorway into another birthing; each birth is a doorway opening from another dying. We engage this cycle many times even in a single "lifetime" as we engage the drama that is our destiny.
Our challenge is to provide for ourselves and others greater and more compassionate support for remembering--remembering the One we always are. This is the purpose of spiritual teaching and spiritual community. Together, we are on a journey of remembering. To the degree we remember, we are able to truly celebrate, share, and express the energies of the One Life through the gifts of our uniqueness.
May we each be blessed on this journey of remembering!
Rabbi Ted Falcon, Ph.D.
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Is Peace Possible?
Here's the essential problem with peace. It's not something you get to. It's something you are. "Shalom" means wholeness. And the kind of peace that shalom describes is a peace that flows naturally from the wholeness of our beings. This peace is not a static state but a state of free and open evolution. In our wholeness we are infinitely creative beings.
The peace we already are is not owned by our ego selves. When we confuse our identity with our personality we collapse into worlds of competition and comparison in which our wholeness can not be appreciated. So the peace the ego seeks is always conditional and about to be violated by our reactivity and fear.
Peace is a spiritual reality. When we awaken to our Greater Self we are able to embrace our fretful and fearful ego in the arms of compassion. It is this embrace which gifts our ego self with the reality of peace.
Peace is a practice. Whenever we notice that we have slipped into a belief in fragmentation and separateness we can invite ourselves to remember the Greater One we are. Let yourself be embraced by the Presence of Peace awakening within you. Understand that you are that Presence. Remember the Presence that awakens within each precious human being. Practice the peace you are.
How do I pray if God is not a separate Being?
Traditionally, Jewish prayer consists of one part praise, one part petition, and one part thanksgiving. If God is All That Is and All is One then there is no longer a Cosmic Bellhop to fulfill or not fulfill our petitions. But to praise and to enter into thanksgiving allow us to step more fully into the Presence.
The essential difference between a more evolved form of prayer and a more childlike prayer has to do with petition. The child part of us wants someone to give us that which we do not currently have. The more aware part of us knows that everything is present in the world of consciousness. All our desires already exist and it is up to us to more fully step into and real-ize the world we seek. So petitionary prayer invites us to experience ourselves already being, having, or doing that for which we pray. When we create images that are clear enough to ignite the feelings of joy, excitement and fulfillment that we desire then we have cause for great rejoicing and for thanksgiving. Petitionary prayer might better be called Creative Prayer because this is a way we step into our role as co-creators of our lives.
I encourage us to begin, then, with praise. Praise of the One Life, the One Awarenesss, the One Consciousness we share. Praise of the remarkable possibilities, the incredible freedom that we are given. Praise for the unspeakable joy of simply being alive right here and right now. Then realize that joy even more fully by stepping into images of the self you wish to be, of the life you wish to live, of the world you wish to have. When you experience the feelings that validate that life , turn to thanksgiving and thank the Holy Presence of Whom you are an absolutely unique and precious expression for providing this access to co-creation called prayer